Women Struggle with P*rn, Too. Here’s Help.
Women struggle, too.
With p*rn and other unwanted sexual behaviors.
This struggle turned freedom has now become a passion to help others for my former student, Dr. Joy Skarka. She has taken the painful moments of her past and now uses them to help set women free through her new book, co-authored with Dr. Juli Slattery, Her Freedom Journey.
Christian women struggle with p*rn, and when they do, they may think:
“Will I ever be free?”
“Will my life always feel this empty?”
“Would anyone really love me if they knew?”
“Can Jesus really meet my longings and desires for intimacy?”
Not long ago, Joy was the woman asking these questions, only she had no safe place to voice them. After years of struggling alone, she questioned how God could love her. If you or someone in your sphere of ministry resonates with this, you’re/they’re not alone.
Joy and Juli answered a few questions about Christian women, p*rnography, and female sexuality in a recent podcast episode. Here’s part of the discussion:
Juli: So much of this is an intimacy issue where we’re trying to find intimacy in all the wrong places. How did that play out in your life?
Joy: Our longings can be unique; our wounds are unique. Some women struggle with a father’s love, and the blessing and approval a father would give. Other women are so lonely that they just want God to be their companion, they want to feel chosen and loved. For me p*rn was just my coping mechanism when I felt angry, when I felt lonely, and when I was processing the sexual trauma I experienced in college. P*rn was just a symptom of a deeper issue.
Juli: Why do you think shame is sometimes deeper for a Christian woman struggling?
Joy: I think the fact that historically p*rn is said to be a problem for men, and not one for women.
Juli: I think also Christian women grow up with this sort of narrative that you’re not supposed to be sexual. So I think for women who struggle with p*rnography, there’s an added layer of shame.
You can find more on the topic in Joy and Juli’s newest book, Her Freedom Journey. This book offers help for any woman struggling with shame or an unwanted sexual behavior and also for women who want to better understand women’s struggles with these issues.
