An Open Letter to the Guy Who Killed Gordon

Last fall a young man was texting while driving, and he struck from behind and killed my sister's husband, Gordon. Gordy was wearing a helmet riding in a bike lane.

Yesterday was the sentencing. And because the victims' families are allowed to make statements or enter letters to go in a file that the felon has the option to read, I spent some time thinking about how the tragedy has affected our family. Below you'll find what I sent to be entered:

Four months ago our family learned that my father’s brother had died. He was Dad’s best friend, and at the time my father told Mom, “I’m an orphan.” He’d lost mother, father, sister, and finally brother, so our hearts were very heavy. We sobbed. We grieved. I mourned the uncle I’d backpacked the Grand Canyon with. But that was only the beginning… Three days later, my mother phoned to say a hit-and-run driver had killed Gordon. My sister’s husband.

Gordon? Gone? Surely not! Not our Gordy—the one so crazy about his wife that he celebrated an anniversary by inviting the entire Hudson’s Bay High School student body to an assembly where he honored her! The one who cooked breakfast for his family. The environment-loving bicycler. Gordon the Science Warden at church. The one we went camping with on the Oregon Coast nearly every summer. Gone? And so violently!

Who did this? We learned the culprit had left Gordon to smash onto the street and die on the pavement. The driver chose not to stop, chose not to call 911. Instead he accelerated and endangered others to keep from getting caught!

We reeled from the shock. My sister, still in love after more than twenty-three years of marriage, lost her husband. Three kids we love lost a great dad. Those kids now watch their mom grieve the loss of her spouse. A mom watches her kids mourn the absence of their dad. My sister has to go back to school so she can support her family instead of being supported by the government. Myriad high school students in years to come have lost a teacher who was unafraid to yell to the most invisible among them, “I love you—in a positive way!” Society has lost a responsible voter, a faithful taxpayer, a just juror, and a model citizen, who invested in the lives of the next generation at home, at work, and at church. My daughter lost the uncle she went clam-digging with—there will be no Grand Canyon backpacking with this uncle. My husband lost the guy who encouraged him when the firm got him down. I lost the brother who bought me an eye-dropper, because “everyone should be able to do water experiments in the kitchen.” Our entire family lost a soul who treated everyone with respect—as Gordon would do to you if he were still here. The kids at his church lost the volunteer who built into their lives, encouraging them to make something good of the gifts God gave them—even if they’d messed up. And that’s not to mention the losses of Gordon’s parents, brothers…Add to that the Hudson’s Bay teachers who have worked with Gordon daily for years…The community…

In those first days after the tragedy we wondered how anyone could be so cold as to leave someone dying in the street. We wondered if CPR might have saved Gord. We shuddered at what trauma he felt in his last moments.

Shortly after the accident, as we prayed through our emotions, we talked to each other about the need to show mercy. To forgive. To return evil with good. My own widowed sister told me less than eight hours after she lost her husband: “It was an accident. Whoever did it was probably scared…” She didn’t want rage to reign. Or revenge. So we all prayed for you. We tried to send chaplains to let you know we cared about your life too. We thought of what this must be doing to your own mother, and we prayed for her. And for your brother. We knew that people don’t always make the right decision, but they can always make a wrong decision right, and we hoped you’d take responsibility, ask God’s forgiveness, ask our forgiveness, and get your act together.

We thought our pain could not get worse, but we were wrong. The worst part is not the loss of Gordon—awful as that is. It’s the part you had a choice about: It’s your cold-hearted response to what you did. The continuing details that have come to light about your flagrant disregard for life made in God’s image have dumped bricks of weight in the midst of an already heavy grief. How could you have scoffed?

One of my students killed someone when he was driving drunk, and today he’s a singles pastor. It’s late for you, but not too late. So please lose the pride, and consider what true sorrow would look like. Have the imagination to envision how you’d feel if someone slaughtered your mother and laughed. Ask God for the grace you don’t deserve to forgive the evil you’ve done. Encourage your brother and the female friends you’ve involved to apologize to the family. Write my sister and her kids your own letter of true apology. And then go make something beautiful of your life.

***
At the sentencing yesterday the judge said we should not actually call this an "accident." Antonio Cellestine was driving with a suspended license, and he was texting while driving... The conviction was a first in the State of Washington involving vehicular homicide for texting. At least two other arrests have been made--one related to hindering an investigation, and the other by a friend of Cellestine's who allegedly held a carwash to raise funds for Gordon's family but actually used to help with Cellestine's bail.

Here are some links to news stories. The Columbian has a good video about the family's response. (You have to click on the arrow for it to start.)

The Columbian: http://www.columbian.com/news/2010/jan/22/cellestine-pleads-guilty-death-teacher-patterson/
The Oregonian (front page story today):
http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/01/man_accused_of_killing_teacher.html
http://photos.oregonlive.com/oregonian/2010/01/antonio_cellestine_sentenced.html
KPTV television http://www.kptv.com/video/22318786/index.html
KATU television http://www.katu.com/news/local/82450497.html.
About the carwash: http://www.columbian.com/news/2009/dec/30/car-wash-scam-suspect-appears-in-court/