The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

This evening I went with one grown-up and six kids ranging from the losing-teeth stage through the teen years to see Universal Studios' "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything."

In this flick three ordinary veggies struggling with fear, laziness, and low self-confidence try out for pirate parts in a dinner theater show, but they fail so miserably that they get thrown out and called "the pirates who don't do anything." Yet these ordinary guys have greatness thrust upon them as they stumble into a series of difficulties that prove their true character.

I have to take issue with the Variety reviewer who said the show offered nothing to adult audiences. Phil Vischer, who wrote the script, threw in lots of humor for the older set that sailed right over the heads of our kids and their friends. (The hour glass with the voiceover intro from Days of Our Lives was especially funny.) This grown-up laughed out loud in places, loved the music (especially the Arggghing pirates' barroom scene), and enjoyed seeing every single kid we took having a great time.

The spiritual themes are more subtle than in previous Veggie productions, and the novelist in me thinks that decision improved the storytelling. When the King explains why the three "pirates" were given the option to bail out when most needed, I found myself dabbing my eyes. Sometimes we are, indeed, given tests that help us determine what's most important. The one who has ears to hear will hear.