How to Help Parents of Preemies
Cook and deliverfood. Imagine trying to exist on hospital food. You’d spend between seven andten bucks per meal, per parent--and more than once a day. Also, especially forthe nursing mom, “these meals sometimes lack needed nutrients.” Call or text. “Whether it’s in person, by a phone call, ortext, know how much it means to be present,” Erica says. “Ask how things aregoing. It’s so important for couples to feel that they have people around themto encourage and support them during such a scary time. “Show up. Along with lending an ear, visit. Erica says, “Those in the NICU for hours at atime need a bit of normalcy by having contact with people other than nurses anddoctors. The babies’ parents need to feel that they are still part of the worldthat exists beyond the hospital walls.” One of her friends showed up with avideo game to help her and Chris handle the boredom.Bring preemie clothing. You can’t find preemie apparel atyour typical department store, and everything the parents already have won’tfit baby for another three months. Erica says that in Dallas, Burlington CoatFactory has the best selection and prices. Listen well. And ask about more than the infant. Ericarecalls, “Many times people were so focused on knowing how our baby was doingthat I wondered if they cared to know how I was doing.” Instead of saying, “Iknow someone who that happened to,” ask, “So what’s it like sitting where youare? What goes through your mind?”Pray. Remember the hurting family in your prayers. And whenyou visit them, offer to pray for them. They are probably missing their localfellowship and need the reminder that they are not alone. Cook, run errands,clean toilets, and shop. The mom and dad are going to work, when possible, andliving at the hospital. No little elves come in at night to mow their lawn andfeed their dogs. Don’t ask, “How can I help?” Ask, “Can I help you by [fill inthe blank]?”One of my coauthored medical novels, False Positive, focuseson a preemie born at twenty-four weeks. When I went to visit Erica in the NICU,she told me something that made all those hours of writing pay off--she saidthat when she went into labor, she knew her child had at least a slim chance ofsurvival because she was three weeks older than the baby in our story. I loveit when fiction intersects life!