Where I Am...
Then Sunday is my uncle's memorial service followed by a "pieluck" (instead of a potluck--because he loved pie).
Two wonderful men gone within three days of each other. Shock.
Thank you so much for your cards, emails, comments, and prayers for us and especially for my sister's family. These expressions of support mean so much.
Some are angry. I'm sure I will be, but I'm not there yet. Some are asking why. I'm sure I will be, but I'm not there yet, either. Just stunned and grieved. And re-reading those verses about how those who have repented will never truly die. And how those who overcome are dressed in white forever...
That's not to say I'm not thinking. I am. And here's where I'm landing at the moment: I have a new appreciation for the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ. If the person who killed Gordon were to tell my sis and her kids, "I will mow your lawn for months to pay you back," we'd all be highly offended. As if...! Nothing he could do could ever possibly "earn" or "pay back" even a fraction of such an infinite debt.
Yet that is how God feels when I try to "repay" the debt for my own sin. Such works insult the Almighty, the Holy One, the Maker of Heaven and Earth. And that is where karma fails. Jesus' death in my place and resurrection life bring the only worthy exchange. So we worship God and love people--Gordon's stated life goals--not to "earn," but out of gratitude for grace already provided on our behalf.
This is why we cry, "I repent. Have mercy!" This is why we sing NOT "Our Sufficient Works" but "Amazing Grace." The debt is paid--with interest!
That is also why we must repeatedly call on God's grace to enable us to forgive the one who brought about the grief. "There but for the grace of God..."