Several weekends ago I led an infertility conference at a church in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. At the end I mentioned that when I was going through treatment, I wondered at times if the pain would ever end. Later, someone who attended wrote this:

When you spoke toward the conclusion about "Will the pain ever end?" I wanted to give encouragement to the other couples, but it did not seem like the right time or place. I was the woman with three girls at home after experiencing miscarriage and ectopic pregnancies. My encouragement would be that not only will the pain eventually end (though I don't know that I am quite there, yet), but that the pain might serve [patients] one day.

When we eventually delivered our third daughter, she was 4-1/2 weeks early and was placed in NICU. While the doctors were trying to figure out if there was anything wrong with her (she was not coming off of supplemental oxygen quickly), they found out that she has a heart defect. After a heart catheterization ("we'll try not to poke a hole in your 8-day-old daughter's heart..."), she is deemed "functionally normal." Her veins are just wired a little differently.

The stress of that ordeal would have done us in if not for the strength our marriage had garnered through our infertility. Already having dealt with the tough issues (trusting God with our children, knowing that God ordains our childrens' days), we were able to focus on our daughter without our faith and our marriage falling apart. I pray that other infertile couples are able to look back and see God's hand in this manner as well.