Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.
—Psalm 127:3–5

Question: The reason I was referred here was that I was told you address in your book The Contraception Guidebook whether or not God is okay with using birth control (of any kind) as opposed to the quiverful mentality. I have felt that the quiverful idea is off, but cannot defend myself well even to myself, so I feel guilty for wanting to plan or not plan my children.

Answer: First, let me begin by saying I believe children are wonderful blessings. They are not the ultimate blessing from God, nor are they the only blessing. But they are blessings, and should be valued. Our society goes to extremes when it comes to kids. Sometimes our culture sends messages that undervalue children, but sometimes we’re encouraged to make our kids our gods around whom our entire lives revolve, too. Both extremes are wrong.

Every couple should prayerfully consider their family size and express their desire to God to honor Him with their most intimate choices. Materialism keeps some families smaller than they would be if couples valued children like they should. On the other hand, choosing not to have children for the “sake of the kingdom” would seem to fall under the heading of “Christian liberty.” If both the couple with twelve kids and the couple with none by choice seek to honor God with their choices, it would seem that “let each one be fully convinced in his own mind” would apply. (See Romans 14:5.)

In the same Bible book where God tells the man and woman to be fruitful and multiply, He also says it is not good for a man to be alone. Yet in 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul makes clear that choosing to remain unmarried for the sake of ministry is a high calling indeed—higher, even, than marriage.

We derive from the Bible the principle that children are precious, but we also get that marriage is precious and a spouse is a gift from God. Are those who choose to remain unmarried taking a “low view of marriage”? Why not concede the possiblity that some who have a high view of children choose not to have them?

Rhonda, one of my friends who is married with no kids, posted a message here on this very subject. I had asked what readers wondered about, and she said this: “I wonder why Gen 1:28, given when the population of the earth was 2, is used to say it is a sin not to have children and the current population of the earth is 6,476,139,943.”

On the subject of contraception, the Bible is silent. Yet we do find in the story of Onan (see Genesis 38) an example of coitus interruptus. The point of that narrative is not to make a statement either way about contraception. What it does tell us on the subject, however, is that people in Bible times were at least conscious of crude ways of trying to avoid pregnancy. In light of that information it is particularly interesting that the scriptures are silent.

I realize I have not yet answered your question. More next time...