So the results are in. I'm talking about the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for 2010.

Every year the English department at San Jose State University (SJSU) gives an award for the absolutely worst opening sentences for imaginary novels. Are you ready for this year's winner from Molly Ringle of Seattle?

Here goes: "For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil."

Yup, I would pretty much have to agree SJSU's assessment.