The last three laptops I've owned have been Dells. I've generally been happy, except that my power cords never last more than two years. Sometimes less.

Today it happened again. My power cord died. I have about an hour left on my battery. So I hopped online, ordered a cord, and paid an extra $16 for next-business-day shipping, bringing the total of my order to about $52. For a cord!

We'll give them today as a non-business day and assume they'll get started on the order on Monday, even though they have already confirmed receipt of my order with three emails. That means I should have the cord by the close of business Tuesday, right? Wrong.

I just received a confirmation saying I should get it on Thursday. Only problem is, I have to leave around noon Thursday to catch a flight to Germany. Where I was planning to use my computer.

"Why," I ask, "will it take until Thursday?" Their answer (don't laugh): They need a couple of extra days for assembly.

I told you not to laugh.

I called the customer service number and they gave me auto-girl who confirmed that my order was placed today and hung up on me with a cheery, "Goodbye."

So I hopped online again and talked to an agent named Mandeep Kalha. Here is our conversation with details such as address and email deleted. Notice how many times he uses my name:

Agent: "Thank you for contacting Dell Consumer Customer Care Chat. My name is Mandeep. How may I assist you today?" "Hi Sandra."

Me: "I ordered a power cord today because mine died. I have a huge presentation in Munich leaving Thu. I paid $16 for next-day business. Now I'm informed it will not arrive until Thu. I need to cancel the expedited shipping. I called the 1-800 number and they gave me a status update and hung up on me without the option of speaking to anyone."

Agent: "Sandra, the Next Day shipping method on the order applies once the order is shipped out of Dell and the estimated shipping date for the order is the 11th of October 2006 and the order may ship out on or before this date."

Me: "If that had been clear, I would not have asked for next-day shipping. It won't arrive until I'm GONE. Are there any stores where I can buy a Dell power cord in Dallas?"

Agent: "Sandra, the best I can do is cancel the order and transfer you to the Sales Department for a substitute?"

Me: "Substitute? What kind of substitute?"

Agent: "They will let you know if you can purchase the cord from a store."

Me: "You don't have that information? Are you not in the US?"

Agent: "Sandra, as I am in Customer Care, I do not have the access to the Sales records. You can call our Sales Department at 1-800-915-3355 between 7AM to 11 PM CST, Monday to Saturday. [I called it while I was online with him and got a message saying it was after hours, even though my clock said I had two hours before 11 PM CST on Saturday.] You can also chat with our sales representative by clicking on the following hyper link... [I clicked on it and received an error code.]

Me: "I already called that number. They told me the status of my order and hung up on me."

Agent: "I really apologize for the inconvenience this matter has caused."

Me: "If you were me, how would you pull off doing the presentation in Munich this weekend? Borrow a friend's computer and re-create the PowerPoint slides?"

Agent: "Sandra, I really apologize for the inconvenience this matter has caused however I do not have the authority to expedite the estimated shipping date. As of now the estimated shipping date is the 11th of October 2006 and the order may ship out on or before"

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Recently the "f" key fell off my laptop. Half the letters are rubbed off. It's probably time to start thinking about a...Toshiba, Gateway, Sony...