Question. An aspiring author wrote this to me today: I was wondering if you could give me some idea of how the book-publishing process usually works after they accept a proposal. I am unsure about what to expect.

Answer. I combined all my pre-agent experiences with a number of publishers to produce what follows.

Editorial person really likes it
He or she takes it to the marketing meeting
You wait forever for that meeting to happen
Marketing approves it
You wait for them to agree on an offer
They issue you an offer
You reel from the shock of how low it is
You negotiate
You wait for them to draw up the contract
You receive and sign the contract
You write "author" after your name to check out how it looks
You write the book
You send the book to the publisher
They send the first half of the advance
You spend it all in one place
You wait for them to edit it
You wait a while longer for them to edit it
They send back the manuscript with lots of changes needed immediately
You edit it again
You wait
And wait
They send a galley proof, which they need back immediately
You edit it yet again
You watch helplessly as the release date gets delayed--again
You wait forever for your progeny to arrive in the mail
Finally, you hold your masterpiece in your hands!
You find a typo